How to Piss off an Army Wife

This is list increasingly becoming the theme of my life, especially with Obama's "The troops in Iraq will be home by Christmas" speech, and all the holiday gatherings have ensured that the frequency of me being asked these questions have increased, but most especially #3. (All you non-military folks "home" means United States soil, it doesn't mean the soldier's place of residence, you've got to read between the political BS and look at the perspective of the person speaking if you want to really know what is really being said. I know I've been doing this for much longer than most of you, but if you've ever paid attention to politics you know you have to figure out the gist of things from the flubdub.) I don't mind answering it every once and awhile, but 5 times, in 15 minutes, for four consecutive days? Seriously? I might as well call everyone to attention whenever I go anywhere and say, "Listen up, here's the latest on what I know concerning when my husband's coming home..." so I can move on with my life and talk about things that are grounded in this world, not the world of political games. However, I understand people want to know things, so I'll keep answering these questions, but I would request that you please avoid numbers 1 - 3, I'm liable to "go off at any moment" if I have to deal with those three questions again. If you must ask me a question, I would love to answer #6, #9 (anyone who has ever read the clauses in life insurance knows why I want to answer this), #11, and #12 over and over again, I've got some good come backs for those all saved up and I'd like a chance to hone them before he gets back. :D

How to Piss Off An Army Wife:
1. Try and relate to her by saying how you know just how she feels because your husband is always away on business.
2. Be sure to ask her when her husband comes home if he's done with the military or if he has to go back.
3. Every time you see her ask when her husband is coming home.
4. Tell her how hard it must be for her husband to miss everything in his kid's lives while he's away.
5. As soon as you find out her husband is deployed take it upon yourself to tell her exactly how you feel about the war and how WE shouldn't be over there.
6. Follow that up by asking how she feels about the President.
7. Look surprised and say, "I don't know how you do it, I could never LET my husband do that."
8. If she's pregnant be sure to ask if the military is going to send her husband home for the birth.
9. Tell her she should really consider getting additional life insurance since her husband has a good chance of getting killed.
10. Remind her how lucky she is that her husband gets all that extra tax free money when he's deployed.
11. Ask her how she can be faithful for 15 whole months and if she worries about her husband cheating on her.
12. Inquire on whether or not her husband has killed anyone.

In an attempt to try to get me to blog more, I'm making it a goal to blog here every week about the money I save my family by being a stay at home mom. My goal is to do this for an entire year.

Let's start with this week.

Laundry cabinet:
I found a show room cabinet for $18, by modifying it for use as an upper cabinet (it was a base cabinet), making a curtain with scrap fabric instead of buying doors, after additional supplies it cost $25. The cheapest cabinet I found for this project was $60, labor to install it would have been $100. Total savings $135. The time it took me to do this is the same it would have been to have a bid done, then to have it done.

Brake & Rotor replacement:
On the same day I did this myself, my friend paid $300 for someone to do it for her. I paid $130 for parts. Total savings $170. It took me 1 hour, she waited 2 hours for her car to be done.

Dishwasher repair:
My dishwasher experienced repeated power failure. I removed 3 screws and the kick board, tightened some loose wire connections and had the dishwasher going. To have someone called out to my place: $75, not to forget I didn't have to wait for a repair guy, so I saved money on my power bill by not having to wash dishes by hand. Total savings $75.

I only ate out twice this week, so I saved at least $20 by cooking meals instead of eating out (low ball estimate).

I bought boneless skinless chicken in bulk for $1.49/lb instead of $2/lb saving $10.20.

I bought an online deal for having my safety and emissions done for $1o, savings $40.

I babysat for my sister every weekend, for at least 4 hours a night, for 8 consecutive years for free (and still do 12 years later when she needs it). As such, she and her kids now baby sit for me for free when I need it. I used them twice this week for over 6 hours, so that saved about $25 in baby sitting costs.

This week I spent $25 on a high chair (one on legs) from IKEA instead of spending what the average American spends on a high chair. Savings $35.

Also at IKEA I found cheap curtain rods that fit my huge front room windows for $10/piece. Previously I had spent $20/piece for our smaller bedroom windows. Savings on 2 curtain rods $20.

Military discount on my daughter's shoes from Payless was $1.30.

Membership gas rewards at Mavrik was $0.22

This week I also finished making my Halloween costume. The materials for it cost about $20, this is a shirt, pants, gloves, shoes, hat, and mask. This saved $45.74 compared to buying this in a store.

Diaper pail at a thrift store for $8. Savings $21.

Total savings for the week: $601.46

This week alone, when you add child care savings, I have already saved more money by staying at home then I would have made by working.



As this is my first day to do this I will calculate now how much money our family saves in a year on care costs for my child by me staying at home. The average day care here costs about $850/month for an infant, I cannot find the costs for a bilingual program, but I'll just add in $50 for bilingual, even though that's probably an under estimate (I'm bilingual). So $900/month for 12 months is a savings of $10,800/year. The last job I had before having my daughter paid, after taxes, $1200/month, which would have barely covered child care costs.

I also feed my 10 month old what I'm eating, I just make adapt it so she doesn't choke. That is a savings of about $45 a week by not buying baby food. The yearly savings of this is $2,288. I breast feed, which saves about $200/month. Total yearly savings on baby food and formula is $4,688.

So, between October 17, 2011 and Oct 17, 2012 I will have already saved $15,488 on the cost of raising my daughter.

With my husband deployed we were able to lower the interest rate on 3 of our loans/credit cards which saves us about 14% on our interest rates. This will save us about $30/month for the remainder of his deployment. He has at least 2 months left in this deployment, so I'll add that $60 of saving in now and adjust as necessary.

I will attempt to keep track of everything I save (including the interest savings as credit cards/loans get paid off early, if this occurs), but as calculating gas costs for separate trips would be a nightmare I won't add that in, but I probably save hundreds of dollars every year by combining most/all of my errands into one trip.

Running Savings Total (includes cost of food/child care savings for one year): $16,149.46

The Trap has Been Set

The trap is set, and we wait. Yes, that's right, as with this same day last year (not that you would know, since I'm a bad blogger) I have announced on Facebook that we're pregnant, again, you know, even though our baby is only 4 months old. This is what I put as my status update, "What happens when a married solider gets R&R in February? That's right, he gets a Halloween baby. I guess the whole, "breast feeding isn't a reliable form of birth control" thing was true after all. Too late to listen now!"

Last year, when we announced we were expecting baby #1, due on Thanksgiving day, on April 1st, 5 people believed me. The fact that so many believed was astonishing, considering that we've pulled this gag at least 3 times a year for 5 years. Can you blame us though? Let's face it, when you know what one or more of your LDS family members are going to ask you every time they see you after you've been married for 6 months, you have to make it fun, otherwise you want to scream and move across country, without telling them. :)

"So... When are you going to start having kids?"
"Well, we're pregnant now, we've just been keeping it on the down low."
"Oh?! When are you do? That's so exciting!"
"We're due in about....oh...22 months, Lela's really an elephant in disguise."

So, last year we bucked the trend, we told the truth on April Fools Day. Maybe we redeemed ourselves on the baby front, showing our family and friends that we can be honest about being pregnant, but I hope to squash any ounce of redemption we've gained because I want to always keep them on their toes.

So, the trap has been set, the bate is on the trap, and now's the fun part, because now we wait...